How To: Learn To Play Guitar To Get Chicks

28 08 2006

This is my simple guide on how to just get started learning guitar to get you some honey. Its not as easy as say riding a bike, but easier than learning the piano and much more portable. 🙂

4 Steps to babes –
A. Get a guitar – Any guitar. It doesn’t matter what you get as long as it will play and hold its tune. Electric is fine, it might even be a bit easier because the strings will be easier to press down (low gauge, you will learn that later). If you go acoustic, DO NOT get a classical guitar, the neck will be too wide for you to easily play chords (also get one with low gauge strings).

B. Learn TAB or tabulature. It is the guitar cheat sheet for learning to play any song. That way you don’t have to learn musical notation. You will see 6 lines, each representing one string on the guitar. The bottom line is the top string on the guitar (the thickest string on the guitar, or E). The numbers represent which fret you are supposed to be pressing down on.

Visual Learners – Imagine holding the tab page upside down and facing away from you. Now the tab lines could actually BE the guitar neck, as in you could play it like the lines were strings.

C. Learn one song, make sure that it is all chords and very very simple. I’d honestly say “Hey Joe” by Jimi Hendrix is pretty darn easy (the chords are what you should focus on, everything else can be ignored for now).

Note: Don’t go with the Beatles, yes the songs are simple but the chords will not be for a total beginners. Go with anything that is full of “power chords” like old Nirvana songs or old Green Day. And remember “NO STAIRWAY”.

D. Now you should have the basics down. Learn “More Than Words”. Memorize it word for word. Yes its a chick song but that’s the point.
Now you are ready snatch-hopper.

Here’s the scenario: Next time you are at a house party and you see a guitar, pick it up play “more than words”, but really quietly at first. Some girls will start to hear it being played softly, let them come to you. “Notice” (all surprised and shit) that these babes are listening and say, “Oh I’m sorry I’m just learning and I’m not very good”, remember you are supposed to have the song down like you know you name. Then bust it out. Play it full on, not loud enough to be obnoxious, but loud enough so the targeted tail can hear you play (if you can sing that is a major plus). When you are done, PUT THE GUITAR DOWN, and sheepishly act like you are embarrassed that they stayed there listening. You have officially hooked at least on of these magically babelicious women. Turn on the charm and run with it.




3 responses

1 04 2008

worked for me.

3 06 2008

Yeah. it works totally, if you can sing too, that’s the killer, not at all easy whilst trying to play and I’ve been at it for a few years. I disagree on the beatles thing, Blackbird sounds complex but can actually be reduced to quite a simple formula, and the lyric hits the girls, remeber words generally affect women more than men. If you get through that get a sing along going such as hey jude or all you need is love, very easy to play.
Then sit back and await a facefull of breast later!

15 06 2012

Wonderful site. Plenty of useful information here. Iˇ¦m sending it to a few friends ans also sharing in delicious. And obviously, thanks on your effort!

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