16 Ways To Get Fired, And How To Avoid Them (Office 2007 Edition)

23 06 2007

After reading 11 Causes and Cures for Procrastination over at johnplaceonline.com, I thought it might be helpful to write a small list of things that seem to piss people off at the office and how to avoid them.  I know it may seem unprofessional to say “piss people off” in a fairly professional article on how not to get fired, but its the only phrase that seems to capture the idea with any accuracy.  So, please forgive the language, because it was indeed pertinent to the article.

Getting yourself “fired” from an office bureaucracy is actually kind of hard to do these days.  No one wants to go through all the paper work and red tape that it takes to get someone terminated with cause, but it can be done with the greatest of ease if you really piss people off.  You can be the most worthless employee since that guy who has an IQ of 80 and not get fired, but piss people off and you WILL get fired.  You’d be amazed at the extent a company will go in order to get you GONE, just for being a bit of a nuisance to the wrong person.

This list may seem trite or even funny, but its not a joke.  All of these “ways to get fired” have been tested and combined with the result of termination.  I am making this list as much for some old friends of mine as for myself or anyone.  I hope it can help.

16 Ways To Get Fired, And How To Avoid Them:

  • Sitting In Weird Positions at Your Desk/Cube: Sit like a “normal” person and people will not notice you.
  • Looking “Bored” at Meetings/In General: Sit up straight, walk tall and take notes.  Doesn’t matter what everyone else is doing, you are trying to escape being singled out.
  • Wearing Headphones/iPod While Walking Around:  Only wear headphones at your desk if its even politically OK at your office.
  • Asking Questions When People Say “Any Questions?”: Just keep you trap shut.  Everyone wants out of the meeting/presentation ASAP and the higher ups don’t like to be questioned.
  •  Animated GIFs in Your Email Signature: Don’t even think about it.  You have no idea what people can be offended by and they make the email’s larger in size which fills up Windows Exchange servers in minutes.
  • Using The ‘Net Send’ CMD To Say “Hello World” To Everyone in Your Network’s Domain:  It’s fun, but it is just a bad idea.  However, in hindsight its hilarious, of course you’ll be fired by then anyway.
  • Coming In Late:  Always be on time and call before you are supposed to be there if you are going to be UNAVOIDABLY late.  People hate waiting and someone is always watching/waiting.
  • Frequently Calling In Sick:  Yes you are allowed to be ill every once in a while, but all those sick days you accrued aren’t for frivolous use.  People get all weird if you are sick alot, even if you have a legitimate illness AND a doctor’s note in with HR.  You have to be visibly reliable or else you run the risk of being labeled as the opposite.
  • Calling in Sick…Two Hours Late: Not a good idea.  If you even think you are probably going to be sick, call the night before.  Oh and calling in sick does NOT make up for having slept in.
  • Taking 2 Hour Lunches/Naps In Your Car:  You may very well need that nap in the car, but someone is always watching you and you WILL eventually get caught.
  • Automating ALL Your Repettitive Tasks, Then Goofing Off:  Even if you have all your work done, do SOMETHING to look busy.  They’re still watching.  I once read that you should carry a piece of paper wherever you are walking just to look like you are going somewhere.
  • Saying “I’m Bored”: Even if you have all your work done, just never say this out loud or write it down.
  • Wearing an Eye Patch, or Getting A “FauxHawk”: Just don’t.  Trust me on this one.
  • Writting “KILL” As Many Times As You Can In Your Meeting Notebook:  Even if you hide secret “happy messages” in the giant list of “KILL”, its not funny to anyone else.  Yes they are YOUR notes, but people can see them and tell on you.  No “Tic Tac Toe” either.  Sorry.
  • Reading a Book At Your Desk:  Even if its a programming book that will help you save the company millions of dollars, people want you to look like you are working on COMPANY work.  If need be, take the book home and finish your code there.
  • Asking Anyone to “Back You Up”:  This is a persons JOB you are putting on the line here, even if you really are in the “right”, that’s what people will see it as.  No one has your back.  First rule of business, “Cover Thine OWN Posterior At All Times”.

If your wondering, yes I know the people who did these acts and which combinations got them fired, a few have high paying office jobs right now after recovering from getting fired.  You also may notice that I use the phraise “someone is always watching YOU” several times.  That’s because its true.  Even if you don’t know it, somebody hates you at your office.  They hate you and they are watching you ALL THE TIME, just so they can tell “the boss” or a high powered friend about how much YOU piss them off and why.

Its all horribly true.  You may feel like you can’t be YOU at the office after reading this, but you can.  The key is to stay off everyone’s radar.  If your cube is in a high traffic area, try to get moved.  If you need to express yourself, do it with office toys and other knick knacks that stay in your cube and don’t offend or bother anyone.  If you get bored, that means you need a better challenge, perhaps a bigger assignment or task bosses love people who ask for a bigger chunk of work.  It may also be time to move on to a new job.  Who knows, your dream job may be just around the corner, but you can’t get that dream job while trying to collect unemployment insurance.  Jobs are like houses or girlfriends, you don’t want to lose your current one until you have another one in your grasp or at least in your sights, and you never want to leave the old one in a poor disposition.  You never know who you’ll wind up needing in the future.

Playing along with the political games that go on at the office, or “playing ball”, may seem like a waste of energy and time, probably because these games are wastes of time and effort, but they must be paid lip service at the least.  “Playing ball” is the equivalent of cleaning your toilet at home, it sucks big time, but it has to be done in order for life to move on.

One last thing, turn your IM notification sounds OFF!





How To Hack A Voting Machine In 60 SECONDS!!!! (VIDEO)

13 06 2007

This vid posted on youtube by stemcomputerssuck, shows you how to replace the ROM (aka Read Only Memory) of a voting machine, like the ones you are going to use to vote against the GOP reign of terror. This isn’t the first hack we’ve seen for voting machines, but its the first I’ve seen done in 60 (SIXTY) FRIGGIN SECONDS!!!

NOTE: One commenter said that you could speed the physical hack up with an electric screw driver. I agree, as long as you keep everything grounded to avoid any electrostatic shocks, it could be done even faster!!

Here’s the little bit of description that stemcomputerssuck left with the vid:

A detailed technical analysis of this e-voting machine can be found on http://www.wijvertrouwenstemcomputers…

But don’t worry, you’re perfectly safe. We have top men working on becoming completely apathetic towards US politics as I type!!

evil banana





Linux Command Line Refernce Card – PDF Download

7 06 2007

Linux Command Line Tips – From PixelBeat will whisk you away to a really helpfull list/table of linux commands that are good to have on hand. Note: The commands with the bullet or DOT in front of them, are safe to cut and paste into your console. I made a quick PDF of the html table, so everyone can have a copy even when your not connected to the net.

DOWNLOAD: Linux_Command_Ref-Sheet.pdf

And yes, I first saw the link on Lifehacker. I wish they had more linux articles. I just made the switch myself and Lifehacker has little to offer in the way of linux. Oh well. Thanks for the info though!!

Of course all credit goes to the peeps over at http://www.pixelbeat.org for making a great ref card for us n00bs ;)

Good On Ya M8s!!

I’ll repost the table after the jump so anyone can cut and paste into their own document. Read the rest of this entry »





How To: Export Video From Your Set-Top Box To Your Mac via Hackszine.com

5 06 2007

This hack is so simple I am humbled to stupidity in its presence.

Follow the link to see the extremely brief and easy to follow tutorial with download links!!

HERE: How To: Export Video From Your Set-Top Box To Your Mac [via] Hackszine.com

Enjoy, you macheads you!!





On, “45 5F E1 04 22 CA 29 C4 93 3F 95 05 2B 79 2A B2″: *THE* HD Key To Rule Them All?

31 05 2007

So, this key, the one in the title, appears to be the key to rule all hd dvd keys.  Or is it?  It was actually posted may 23rd on Freedom To Tinker in a comment?!?!?  Yeah, you can use it as the key to decrypt alot of new HD discs but will it end  any need to work further on cracking AACS craptastic codes?  (Note this is the new HD key, not the one that was widely published and all fuxxored on d!gg.)

My only other source is this forum: DOOM9

Moving on, because this key was supposedly found one day after it was “put into action” by the powers that be, I’m gonna explore how the key was so rapidly extracted.

First, I’m gonna guess, just for shits and giggles.  Perhapse someone simply brute forced a prefab “wordlist” or 16 value hex number sets?  Since I refuse to go HD (either format) I have no way of really knowing if this is even plausible, cause I can’t test it out myself.  I also don’t have an XBOX 360 with the external HD-DVD drive handy to experiment with either.  So its fair to say that my first inclination is a pure shot in the dark… or is it? (see arnezami’s method of finding a Volume ID later on in the post)

Second, I’ll ask Google.  Well … so far its not an answer but it appears that someone bought this domain: http://455fe10422ca29c4933f95052b792ab2.com/ …which is funny as hell cause there is no content, its just pure net real estate hilariousness.

But lets dig deeper, shall we?  Lets plug this hint “uv=00000047″, from the comment by BtCB, into Google. (pause for effect)

Okey dokey, now we are in business.  It would appear that a curios fellow who goes by the name arnezami over at DOOM9 FORUMS has some simple instructions on how to grab a Volume ID for HD-DVD.  And it follows:

Finding the Volume ID

How did I find the Volume ID?

There are essentially two ways (now). I used the USB sniffer (with the xbox 360 HD DVD) because I knew I didn’t have to bother with the (possibly obscured/wiped) memory of the software player.

  1. Download USB sniffer 1.8 then unzip and start it.
  2. Select the “USB Mass Storage Device” (I use the xbox 360 HD DVD drive) and click install.
  3. Unplug the HD DVD drive (the usb cable) and replug it again. It will be recognized by windows and the sniffer starts logging.
  4. Insert the Disc into the drive while the sniffer is.. well sniffing. Then start WinDVD and immediatly quit when the video (even the first black screen) starts. Then click ‘Close’ on the sniffer.
  5. You now have a huge log file (60+ MB or something). Open it in WinHex (pressing F7 for ascii only) and search for the ascii string (not hex search!) “00000000: 00 22 00 00″ including the spaces (but excluding the quotes of course ).
  6. There was only one occurence of this in the whole file. So it has to be the Volume ID. Tata!

Btw: I used WinDVD but the above should also work for other players.

A different method (but less reliable I think) is to use WinDVD’s memdump.

  1. Open WinDVD’s memdump in WinHex
  2. Hex search (with WinHex) for 002200004000 or alternatively 0020202020200000. **
  3. There you will (usally) find the Volume ID. But I’m not sure this will always work. There may be more than one occurance. You can check if the last 16 bytes (of the 36 beginning with 0022) are random since that would have to be the MAC. If its not random you haven’t found it yet so you should go on searching until you do.

arnezami

PS. Almost forgot: make sure you remove the last 16 bytes from the Volume ID log (which is the MAC) like I did in my first post. This is because in theory they might be able to track down your drive with that part… (you don’t want that). The Volume ID itself is for everybody the same (with the same movie) so that won’t reveal anything about yourself .

Seems like a plan, but if you look further you can just use these little apps posted in the same forums by a person named ape:

hddvd_vukeyfinder.zip and for Blu Ray use bdkeyfinder.zip

But wait there’s more…

Well here is something to play with.

fetchvid.exe

For me it works with WinDVD (which is the most sensitive I believe) and the Xbox 360 HD DVD. My sweet spot is a time value between 390 and 420. I usually set it at 410 which works perfectly (btw time is measured in nr of AGID retrieval attempts counted from the moment the player accesses the drive).

Just try it and play with it a bit.

Remember: this program does not use the private key. It just “watches” the drive carefully and then pretends to be the software player.

It works for HD DVD only atm.

Screenshot:

Regards,

arnezami

PS. This is experimental programming. There could be bugs in it.

And that is all she wrote folks.  Yes this is the latest key to rule them all for AACS DRM craptakery and that was a little peek into how it was uncovered.  There should be HUGE applause for anrezami et all for all the hard work they did.  Just reading everything really gave me a pretty solid grasp of how AACS Encryption/DRM works.  Congrats to all the peeps at DOOM9 who worked very hard on getting all this info together.  All credit goes to them.

Of course SOMEBODY had to make some money off of all arnezami, BtCB and the rest of DOOM9′s hard work, and it looks like slysoft has borrowed arnezami and friends cracking methods to offer AnyDVD HD that will rip allmost any HD DVD or Blu Ray Disc without you having to do a damn thing.  I wonder if at least arnezami is getting a cut of the profits?  One lives in hope.

Anyhew none of this is native to linux but you can probably run most of it in WINE or convert the c++ aps to python.  Since AnyDVD doesn’t REALLY rip any HD disc then you might even consider just using the methods used by arnezami and the apps he and his friends over at DOOM9 created.

I made a little software pack for everyone so you don’t have to download everything seperately, except the slysoft app of course: HDandBDcrakingFiles.rar

Big Ups To All That Showed Big Hollywood That DRM is Useless.

Keep information free,

TheRealDonQuixote

As it turns out you  don’t need to do a damn thing because according to

Follow the Jump to find arnezami’s sweet description of AACS encryption, if you want to understand everything that is…

Read the rest of this entry »








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